Some say that dating is a game, and rules are needed to keep things running smoothly, but the truth is that love is not a level playing field and therefore not all rules should apply. The trouble with most rules are their assumption that all men and women think and act alike, and all relationships run the same course. Yet most of us know that’s not the case, so we’ve put together a few rules you should definitely ignore. 1. Women should never make the first move Some men are shy, and some women are self-assured who don’t have the time or the inclination to hang around waiting for a man to make a move and as watertight rules go, this is one that’s made to be broken. Here’s why. If a woman asks a man out and he says yes, great – he’s probably delighted and relieved, and everyone’s happy. If she asks him out and he says no, it means he doesn’t fancy her, and was never going to ask her out anyway. Not so happy, but at least you can move on. There is, of course, the chance that a keen man is turned off a woman by the fact that she asked him out, thereby depriving him of the “thrill of the chase”. This means that he’s an insecure dimwit, and no great loss to any woman. The fact is that we all enjoy the thrill of the chase – men and women. But we’ll only chase something if we think we’re in with a chance of catching it. Nurturing a new relationship should involve flirting and chasing on both sides, not just flirting on the woman’s side and chasing on the man’s side. 2. He should always pay on a date What year is this, exactly? You should be proud of your independence, and not feel indebted to anyone or feel uncomfortable paying nothing for your lovely meal. And you should have a sense of fairness, and fairness includes wanting to share. There’s some logic in the idea that the “asker-outer” should be the one to pay. If you’re OK with that, then the “askee” should at least leave a tip or buy a round of drinks. If you’re out with a man who absolutely refuses to let you pay a penny, then you may have a bit of a control freak on your hands. (Have you ever seen or read American Psycho? Recommended.) 3. Never date a workmate Most of us spend more time at the workplace than anywhere else, and we’ll often head for the pub with our workmates after a day’s graft. Some of those people will become your friends and companions, and attraction is bound to occur somewhere. So are you going to say no to that guy you’ve had your eye on for ages, purely because the rules say you mustn’t date a colleague? No chance. Many happily loved-up couples meet at work more than through any other route. This shouldn’t be surprising. People in similar jobs or organisations are often similar types of people, so they’re bound to be drawn together. Yes, it can be tricky if you break up, and there are bosses who take a dim view of the troops jumping into bed together. But on balance, it’s a tried and tested way to meet your other half. When you date a colleague, you know what you’re getting – you’ve got to know them slowly and seen them as they really are, interacting with other people, dealing with stress and so on 4. Don’t have sex on the first date Ah. The sex rule. It’s a wise one, but it’s also a tricky one. Going all the way on a first date is not a good idea if you want a relationship with this person, but there are mitigating circumstances. Perhaps you’ve been very close friends for months, and you’ve finally admitted your mutual feelings so maybe it might feel right. It can be wildly passionate and loads of fun, but it may not lead to an ongoing relationship, however, don’t be a tease. If you’ve had a fantastic evening and the attraction is obvious and mutual, follow your heart but don’t be pressured into anything, and make sure to leave plenty of loving for next time. Join now and start meeting singles near you for fun or love.